Anonymous asked: I'm new here and idk if you're aromantic and allosexual, but if you are (or if you think you can answer this anyway), how do you mentally separate & tell the difference between romantic and sexual attraction? I know I experience some kind of non-platonic attraction to ppl of all genders and I'm definitely allosexual, but I think I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum & I'm not sure how to tell if the attraction i feel is a combination of sexual and romantic or if it's just sexual.
Mainly the way I think of it is this: if I took away the sexual attraction from my feelings for this person, would my feelings towards them be any different from how I feel towards a friend/squish? If the answer is “no”, then you probably are on the aromantic spectrum, if not outright aromantic.
If you find yourself fantasizing mostly about hanging out and doing friend things with a sexual component and don’t think about dating/settling down/doing romantic-coded actions etc, that’s probably a sign as well. Also, limerence or the ‘butterfly in the stomach’ feeling is another thing; although some people can experience that towards people they have QP feelings for, but I don’t personally experience it towards people I’m sexually attracted to.